Forums > Queen - General Discussion > Thoughts on Thor Arnold and Lee Nolan's eleven year friendship with Freddie

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emdee0809 user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 02:17 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Sadly, Chevy, the paparazzi, make their living chasing the rich and famous, and if the public buys into it, it will never go away. Everyone should be able to grieve in privacy - terribly disrespectful as you stated.

I must confess though, as I wait in the grocery line, I have been known to read those tabloids with their sensationalized headlines. And why? My curiosity gets the best of me. Human nature. And the irony of it all - I don't believe most of what is printed.

Perk user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 02:28 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

There is a great blog I follow through email called Gossip Cop and they take all the Us Weekly's and the Star and the Life and Style's and analyze the stories in them and tell you whether they have any truth at all to them. you should follow it because It's really helpful in sorting the bs from the "truth"

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 02:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Perk, Mary,is a manipulative woman in my opinion.The things she accused others of she is guilty of herself.But one things for certain what she wanted in the end she didnt get and she is alone and old.I think it would've been a healthier relationship if she had not worked for Freddie but I think that she put herself around him too much and that made it hard for her to break free.He got with Jim and she knew he wouldnt be returning to her.so that's why she hated Jim so bad.She thought he would come back to her I think.He passed away she then blames friends and fans.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 03:18 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

From ChevyMan a few pages back:

Galileo, Gaetan Dugas wasnt he a flight attendant.I think they blamed alot on that guy and it's no more his fault than it is anyone else.This is the way I see things they were dealing with this awful virus that was killing people some in hours of getting to hospitals because they didnt know they were sick.They had to blame someone.So they pin it on gay men which I think was a chicken shit thing to do.By the time they dug their heads out of their ass and figured out what they were dealing with they noticed heterosexual people were getting it as well.So my question is why single one man out or one group of people just because you cant figure out what was truly causing AIDS?I dont get it.

Now me talking. (Quote feature doesn’t work on iPad).

Yes, Gaetan Dugas was an Air Canada Flight Attendant.

I’m not sure who you mean by “they”.

There really wasn’t any heads-in-arse thing among the doctors and scientists who treated and studied the early patients. Regan and some in his administration were another matter, as were various officials in France. The funding for the new disease was not in proportion to what other emerging public health issues received.

I lived in Canada during that era, where I grew up, but certainly heard the sort of stuff you’re saying from the Moral Majority type of people, so maybe that is what you’re reacting to.

In Europe (but not the UK) the first patients identified were heterosexual so over there they never understood the American view that it was a gay disease.

And to try to bring this back on topic, I heard somewhere that Freddie hated the stigma. Perhaps Phoebe said that. And I feel for him that he experienced that. I think he loved his doctors though. I certainly got that impression from Phoebe.

Lsgp03 user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 03:30 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

SM wrote:

Do American men still feel strange around gay people? The whole macho man thing still going strong over there? I ask because here nobody bats an eyelid and some of the nicest folks I've known are gay. But all American movies seem to make those "no homo" jokes and leaves me wondering. Perhaps I'm misinterpreting American humour again lol. I did visit a club with my mate Dan back in the 80's and I was flattered by the attention I received but definitely not my cup of tea admittedly lol. Still there was an undeniable fun atmosphere in the place. Wish I could remember the name.

I have a bad habit of flaking out for just a few hours at a time instead of sleeping the full 7 hours. I've tried everything short of drugs to correct it but so far the best method seems to be hot tea and a good book. I check in when I can.


Hello SM

I have an insomniac friend who swears by a high grade CBD Oil. So much so, that she trusted giving to her mom, who responded well to it. My friend has difficulty staying asleep and a light sleeper.
It’s works for her, her mom, and a second friend in LA.
However, it has to be measured differently from the next person since we are all different sizes


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Lsgp03
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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 03:43 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

thundergod wrote:

Hey Logan Mews,
Although Freddie was proud of his contributions to "Flash Gordon", I don't believe he ever mentioned being attracted to Sam Jones. If you think Sam Jones is attractive and think that I (used) to look like him, thank you very much for the compliment!...LOL


Hello Thor,

So glad that HOA accepted that the plumbing wasn’t your problem. Congrats on that one.

On the subject on Sam Jones; I see only a resemblance in coloring. However, I saw a video showing Freddie with friends in the yard at Garden Lodge, and there is a very handsome big blonde in white shorts and white shirt standing there. It looks a lot like you, and just curious.....is it?


Perk user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 03:54 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Thanks CHEVY I thought so too. I thought she seemed manipulative. Wait is Lee Chevy I'm confused? Where is Lee's posts? I am new to this place sorry.....

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Jo T.
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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 04:01 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

@Galileo1564, it's interesting you brought up Gaetan Dugas today. I saw on the Canadian news earlier today about a new documentary about him called "Killing Patient Zero." Even though modern science as exonerated him as "Patient Zero," it was convenient and easy for society to scapegoat a dead man, esp. a dead gay man. BTW, I live in the U.S. but close to Canada, so we have access to Canadian news.

Thor, what's the latest update on your plumbing and bathroom situation? How does my question related to Freddie? Well, I can make it work. In Phoebe's book, Garden Lodge had outdated plumbing fixtures. How's that? LOL

Perk user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 04:05 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Anyone know about this extra teeth thing it’s been bugging me for a while since I read it on Peter Freestone’s blog.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 05:40 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Ok wow so I just sat in the parking lot at work for an hour trying to work backwards and read the posts. I barely broke the 200’s. I do want to make an observation. One Freddie is freaking precious. When he’s in the bathtub singing with the bubbles. Omg. Also I wanted to hug him watching 1981 Montreal and him crying during Somebody to Love. I love to see videos of him working. I know Roger Taylor was upset recently because he said that yes he was a great singer and front man but everyone forgets he was a brilliant musician. I guess in hindsight that’s more clear. I know personally that was never even a question the man can keep a beat better than a metronome and I know by watching his performances like how the hell he knows the beat it will end on. I am just not musical really so little things like that are noticeable to me. I also noticed how freaking patient Jim was because you see him just sitting quietly watching Freddie work and not even really acknowledging his presence though you kinda get the feeling he might not have directly acted like it but he knew Jim was there and you can tell it makes him happy? I guess the right word is comfortable. maybe. Also I am not patient enough to walk behind my man and like basically not touch him or hold hands or whatever. Jim did though and I know that wouldn’t be cool for them to do that, but sometimes it’s only that they have on matching clothes that makes it known, or whatever but still it looks hard just watching it. I’m just not a person who can be ignored by the person I love for too long. I’d have to have a kiss or two in the dressing room or I’d get a complex. Jim was an awesomely cool guy and Freddie was smart to pick him and he apparently knew it from what Thor said about the Gardner and husband or whatever. Having to hide your love sucks and I live in the extremely stupid Deep South of the USA and I know for a fact that there are those who are homophobic still just as bad as they were back then. I’ve always been of the thinking love is love I’m heterosexual and my relationships are sparse to say the least. So I don’t begrudge anyone else finding love I don’t care if it’s male female or cat. Lol. The ideas people have about sexuality are irrelevant I like Freddie as a musician and a person he seems super fun and were I not 9 when he died I would’ve loved to see him perform. That’s why all this Jim hate is so frustrating because Mercury and Me is a beautiful love story. It’s an amazing book and I love reading about Freddie being happy and some of the funny stuff that he and Jim went through and it’s so obvious how much Jim loves him that book is nothing but respectful and beautiful yes the journalist who helped him write it may have taken a few liberties but I doubt many. Jim was protective of Freddie and I am sure he would have read it before it was printed and got to edit it. I read recently that had he used a journalist that Freddie trusted it might be taken easier. David Wigg said he would have liked to have done it but he APPARENTLY was talking to Mary Austin about a book with her so we can see why Jim might not have picked him. Hmm Mary a book interesting Jim haters. Though I think David Wigg is a fun guy when he doesn’t have on his reporters hat. When he has his Freddie friend hat he’s fun.
Freddie says that he cloaks himself in this guise on stage but you can tell what a sweet guy he is. Why anyone would think he’s an ogre (his words) they must’ve not watched his concerts. I can tell what an awesome guy he is and I’m watching him on TV. THOR I was watching Freddie’s Loves the other day and I was trying hard to picture you with a mustache it didn’t happen. Lol. I don’t know if they showed a picture of you guys if they did it was for like seconds. They showed a ton of pictures of Bill Reid the crazy coke head. But there was like 15 seconds of others. Except Vince they must’ve liked him they do focus a lot on him. Sorry I’m so pathetic but I’m just so excited to talk to someone who idk actually knew the man as I would’ve loved to be his friend. Not like it was possible even to see him in concert. Anyway sorry everyone I kinda got off on a little story time I guess. Carry on.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 07:30 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Morning all . Have a good day



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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 08:05 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Welcome , Perk.

You have some very interesting things to say and observe on.

I agree that Jim seemed a truly genuine, amazingly patient man who was dropped into an enormous life change and coped incredibly well. He was very very good for Freddie and I think that anyone who cares about Freddie is thankful he was there for Freddie in his last 7 years. They were a good couple.

Re the teeth thing. Perhaps Mick Rock was, erroneously temporarily thinking of Freddie's supernumerary "wisdom" teeth as being four extra teeth (most of us have these extra teeth errupt from late teens onwards, a throwback to when our diet was, for mechanical reasons rather that sugar-induced caries , i.e. chewing on grains, vegetation, bones etc. wearing to our teeth and thus we needed a few more grinders to masticate. (BTW is anyone else, I know Blenkolove is, infuriated by the Bo Rhap film referencing extra "incisors"? God's sake, Roger was a dental students! You'd think he'd have told them that incisors are NOT back teeth! Four extra incisors and we'd all have bloody seen them!) Initially in each quadrant of the mouth are with the exception of canines, 2 of each type of teeth, then when the *wisdom" teeth errupt there are suddely 3 molars each side.

Mind you, I'm sure even if he'd have had teeth removed, extra teeth or not, unless it was at a much younger age, radical orthodontistry would also have been required to align his teeth perfectly.

I love Freddie's teeth. They looked very healthy to me, and I think he had the most charming smile.

Regarding Mary, I am a bit disturbed by the preponderance of Mary -bashing that sometimes errupts here.

I think to label anyone sociopathic (unless you are a psychologist and have thoroughly examined and evaluated the person in question personally, is coming it a bit strong and we should avoid such sweeping statements.

Freddie clearly adored her and I don't think he'd be terribly happy to hear people who supposedly admire and respect him speaking in such a way about a person who he held so dear. Perhaps it should be a case of "if you don't have anything nice to say........" You know the rest.

Hope I haven't offended anybody, but I just feel uncomfortable with strong words and labels being directed at people. A saint she's not, but for all her seemingly peculiar behaviours, I don't see her as a villain either. I do feel that certain official business machinations have directed some if her seemingly off hand behaviours.

Well that all got a but serious! Sorry. Hope I haven't got on too many nerves with my statements.

I'm off to go and make Little Freddie a cup of Earl Grey now! He insists on a cup at 9 am precisely! :-)

Bye Bye , Peeps




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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 08:06 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

@Saint: It's been brave of you to come out with that revelation, admitting there is a problem is the first step to find a solution. I am a veterinary behaviourist and a strong believer in low level exposure to cure phobias. You should definitely see a human practitioner too, but I think that sticking around here and trying to make more LGBTQ friends/discuss LGBTQ topics set you on the right path to sort your problem. Best of luck!

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 08:33 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

FreddieDarling,

Well said. Agree with you completely.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 08:40 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I hate not being able to edit. I thought for a bit if I should have posted it as a pm but then went for public and now I changed my mind again... oh, well. I guess it can be helpful information for others too.

There was a few things I've been wanting to talk about for a while but I didn't want to drop them out of context, but a few posts lately put them back to the front of my mind.

1. SM mentioned the different behavior of the people around Freddie and said something like Joe didn't look like he gave himself time to grieve Freddie, but was instead full of anger towards Mary. I get what SM was trying to convey, but the thing is that anger and focusing on it is quite a typical grieving behavior. As I'm sure Thor and the other health workers here know well, quite often the care team is a scapegoat for the angry family when a patient pass away. I am myself someone that gets furiously angry when a loved one pass. It is often, in my case at least, a reaction to guilt for not being able to be a better advocate for my loved ones or not being able to direct or choose a better caring team.
I think it likely that both Joe and Mary were experiencing some level of this grieving process. It obviously got out of hand with all its consequences, but I often wonder if things could have gone differently if they accessed proper counseling instead of trying to work it out for themselves.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 09:34 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Sorry but that's also not true. If you go back to my first few posts here you'll notice where I said I asked Joe if Mary had been grieving as that could perhaps be the reason behind her behavior and he said no, that she had always been that way. Something Jim also confirmed. I'm sorry but this is not a case of someone being misrepresented or simply grieving or struggling to deal with her emotions. This woman was apparently unpleasant throughout Mr Mercury's life, not just during his death. It always throws me for a loop when people who have never met Ms Austin make excuses for her or try to sidestep her actions. I don't know how many people who knew her have to say she was cold and possessive before it gets through to everyone but there you go. I asked Joe why Mr Mercury was so close to her if he was gay and she behaved the way she did and he said Mr Mercury was terribly guilty over her. I don't know the details but apparently he had made many promises to her and her parents (who happened to be deaf and poor) before he became famous she never let him forget that. Let's try to remember there is more to every story than just what you see in the press or in a book.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 10:18 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I am not defending Ms. Austin. I have heard good and bad reports of her, too.

But, I feel that is isn't right to label a person with a serious behavioural disorder such as sociopathy so lightly.

A bit more balance and a little less bias makes for more harmony, I feel.

There, I'm climbing off the soap box again. :-)

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 10:28 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

As far as I know she has never been labelled as a sociopath by a medical professional. Yes that may be a bit steep. Not sure who it was that said that but I understand their upset.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 10:35 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Mary wasn't the one I was trying to defend. I just felt like it was unfair to use my reasons to Joe and not admit the possibility that they were at least partially true for her too.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 10:43 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Hi SM,

No, it wa not a medical professional, (as far as I am aware) it was a thread member who suggested it.

As I say I have heard reports about Mary Austin which have not sat comfortably with me, but none of us know her well enough to even attempt a diagnosis of any sort regarding her psychological state.

I'm no believer in Mary as a saintly figure, believe me, I just don't like serious accusations about _anybody_ being bandied about willy-nilly. I meant no offence to the thread member who made this comment, but wanted to express my discomfort at statements such as this.

I hope I haven't offended anyone. That is never my intention, and I have in the past steered clear of these discussions, but this time, I piped up.

Hope we all have a great day (it's cool and overcast here in England!)

TTFN