Forums > Queen - General Discussion > Thoughts on Thor Arnold and Lee Nolan's eleven year friendship with Freddie

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SM user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 10:52 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Ms Austin was apparently always like that. Behaviour like hers that went on for years at a time is not grieving unfortunately. And according to I believe they said Mr John Reid, Ms Austin wasn't weeping at the funeral service but smiling and announcing that she won in the end. Scary stuff. People handle grief in different ways no doubt but I'm not convinced her actions or attitude was from losing Mr Mercury. She certainly wasn't kind or even polite to me. I've known people who have lost a great love and still manage to not seem a cold you know what to strangers. The difference here is something I saw firsthand. Cameras. When the cameras were on her there was sniffling and sad eyes. Hand shakes and warm gestures. When the cameras were off she was stone faced and rude. Not zoned out or emotionally unstable. Just plain rude.

My "Hello ma'am, good morning" was almost always met with a grunt or more often, nothing at all. I wasn't close to her by any means but common sense tells one to acknowledge people when they try to offer a kind word. She never bothered to learn our names but had no problem barking orders at us as to who was allowed in and when. Most of the time the orders came from Mr Beach but she would speak "to" us from time to time. Never making eye contact or bothering to respond when we asked questions. Sorry but she had the essence of a real spoilt child in my opinion. I never got the feeling she was sad or depressed. She always just appeared to be permanently annoyed.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 10:53 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

@emdee. Thank you for your words about my lovely Little For! :-)

He is a work of art, literally and I'm going to treasure him.

I paid a princely sum for him, but still a lot cheaper than many are being sold at now. Since the movie Queen related merchandise prices have gone crazy!

Thanks to everyone for being happy for my new adoption! :-)

SM user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 10:53 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I dont think you've offended anyone here

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 10:56 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I'm not a doctor myself but going by what little I know about mental issues I do not believe she would qualify for that either. I don't see her as a case of mental instability but of extreme entitlement.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 11:02 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

QZ keeps eating the second part of my post.
A shame really because Shawn would understand with it that opening that particular can of worms was the opposite I wanted to do.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 11:09 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

SM: Thank you for confirming the impression I already had of Mary Austin. Must have been difficult working under such circumstances.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 11:14 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

SM , as I say I'm in no way defending her or her behaviour and I too have heard reports I don't like,

I only try to deflect accusations of labels such as sociopathy, as I would with anyone else who had this label directed at them without diagnosis.

No offence intended, and I agree she does sound, from your reports to have displayed a rather cold, impersonal, and even rude manner, which is a behaviour I dislike.intensely.

I feel great empathy and sympathy for the male residents of Garden Lodge after Freddie passed away. They seem to have been pushed around like livestock. They should have been protected and cherished for all their devotion to Freddie, and I'm afraid that just didn't happen.

The Queen Machine seemed to want to reinvent Freddie to suit their preferred image of a straight man in a stable heterosexual relationship, instead of accepting and celebrating the wonderfully complex GAY man in a stable homosexual relationship which he was. Bigotry of any kind is a shameful thing and a complete anathema to me, and even now that attitude continues to a slightly lesser extent. Very sad and disappointing

Hope we can move on now. As I say I'm not a big fan of Ms. Austin In was just uncomfortable with that label.

Kind Regards to everyone

FD



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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 11:16 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I'll try to paraphrase it one last time:

Even if I believe Freddie's friends when they state he didn't believe in same sex marriage, I believe he would have been very successful in maintaining a lifelong relationship. The fact that he tried to keep his most cherished boyfriends around proves that he appreciated the value of a long term relationship beyond the honeymoon phase. Passion comes and goes, but he still wanted David (he failed at keeping him, but that's not the point), Joe and Jim around, and even if it never really happened, I'm going to add our Thor in it because the initial spark was apparently not a "let's become best friends" one. He could accept relationships as a living ever changing thing and that's something a lot of couples struggle at.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 11:34 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Freddie darling and as I say, I agree with you. Nobody is offended.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 11:40 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Jim mentioned once that he would have liked to have married Mr Mercury and that Mr Mercury did tell him if this had been another lifetime they would have. I think that may have had more to do with Mr Mercury's family career and Ms Austin than any law but I'm only speculating. Jim said it didn't matter much anyway as Mr Mercury only ever addressed Jim as his husband and they lived like a married couple. Joe also agreed Mr Mercury seemed happy in his final days with Jim by his side. I think he was happy with all of the Garden Lodge men by his side. There's something to be said about loyalty and he certainly had that with them.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 11:40 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

SM , thank you! I appreciate that from someone I've come to respect! :-)

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 12:05 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

SM thank you very much for your insight, it is completely different to hear something like this from somebody who knows her personally.
I very much appreciate that you have shared your ecperience with us.


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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 12:15 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Someday I'll figure out how to add a quote from a previous post, but regarding John Reid and whether or not Mary was sad at the funeral... John Reid was not at the funeral. He doesn't specify what year Mary said, "I won in the end" but it definitely wasn't at the funeral, and may very well have been some years afterward.

The quote is something he told authors of the 2000 book "Somebody to Love":

"Perhaps a comment given to the authors by John Reid might shed a bit more light on this sorry affair [speaking of the happenings at Garden Lodge after Freddie's death] : "I didn't go to the funeral," Reid said. "I saw Mary a couple of times. I bump into her now and again. She said the strangest thing to me; she said as I was trying to comfort her, because she'd been through a lot and seen a lot, and she said to me, "Well, I won in the end, didn't I? He was with me at the end." That was a bit scary"



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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 12:19 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

> John Murphy passed away LONG BEFORE Freddie had
> succumbed to this dreadful disease.

Yes, I know that. And that's what Paul Prenter said as well. He meant that John was at Garden Lodge in 1986 a few weeks before his own (John's) death, not Freddie's death. Prenter said John died on November 11, 1986. That means, according to Paul, John was visiting Freddie sometime during the autumn of 1986.

@Thor, I understand it is not pleasant for you to read Paul's interview (and as I understand, you haven't read it by the link I gave, but that's ok). On the other hand, I hope you understand that I treat such materials as historical documents worthy of studying. Regardless of Paul's morals, these are his words and it's useful to know what he said. I personally don't know why he would lie about John's visit to Garden Lodge in 1986, it's not some shameful information to print it in a newspaper just for the sake of shocking people. You mentioned you didn't see much of John during that time, so probably it's not that Paul is lying about this visit but just that John continued to see Freddie which you were not aware of... Again, I don't see anything shameful here, in this particular case.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 12:23 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Good morning everyone - at least it is morning here.

Going to get off a quick post before work since the conversation about Mary is one that fascinates me.

SM - after reading everything you have said - is it your belief that there were two different Marys - the Mary before Freddie's death and the Mary after? If so, do you feel everyone tolerated her because of Freddie?
In your opinion, was there anyone at Garden Lodge who could honestly say they liked or respected her?

Lastly, I do admire your reference to Freddie as Mr. Mercury - I feel guilty when I use his name. What deep respect that shows for this man from you.

Have a good day everyone!! Happy Friday.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 12:23 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

To further beat this dead horse, sorry one more point about Mary.

Just from that quote, and many other things people have said, Mary seemed to be very possessive of Freddie and wanted him to herself. Whether that's love or obsession, I'm not going to hazard a guess. But it's clear that two things can be true: 1) that she loved being around Freddie and 2) that she disliked many of the other people around Freddie (because she saw them as rivals).

That dichotomy might explain why we get very different impressions of Mary from different people. On the one side are those who say how wonderful she was and how devoted she was to Freddie. And on the other side are those who say how cold and bitchy she was. I think both claims could have some truth to them.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 12:23 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Reid wasn't at the funeral but that quote of his came long before that garbage book came out. It was in another book and in an article as early as 2000. It's one of the many reasons Beach wanted nothing to do with Reid after that. Anything that shows Mary in a truthful light hurts his agenda to cash in on the Freddie n' Mary money cow.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 12:29 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Ok but look at who all is claiming Mary was sweet and kind etc. Mick Rock who only saw them when they were still a couple and Freddie was closeted during photo shoots and public events he was hired to photograph. Don't be fooled by all his interviews. There are no photos of him hanging out with Freddie post 77ish. Brian May who benefits financially from the Freddie and Mary lie (and admits he has no idea what happened inside GL)and David Wigg who only saw what she told him. I've seen no intervews with Peter Freestone or anyone else who saw Mary's true colors from Wigg. Leads me to believe he just doesn't see the other side of it. So when you think about it....is there actually any trusted source who praises her for her live and devotion to Freddie?

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 12:29 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Dustin, sorry, you're right. I meant the quote from Reid was reported in 2000 ( and the authors of the book say it was said to them). The book was published later. So the Mary quote was probably from anywhere between Freddie's death and the late 90s.

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Posted: 26 Apr 19, 12:32 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Dustin, I don't think one can completely discount what Freddie said about her and how he acted around her. He did seem to care about her. I don't see just "guilt" over not marrying her in 1975 as being a reason for all of that.